January 2008

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Have you ever been the victim of an afterthought; a random act of second degree social misconduct tacked on at day’s end that feels less malicious and more like, “I’m bored, why not?” One in which the misdeed is unpremeditated by the unprovoked perpetrator, yet at the moment of commission, takes on the likeness of something stupidly uncontrollable like a belch or fart. And you, on your way to wherever, cross paths at the wrong time, invading the space they’d escaped to to avoid embarrassing themselves.

Here’s a tip: Skip excuse me and fuck polite. You’re wasting your time. You know the score. One wrong turn and it’s, “Tag, you’re shit.” Pretend you don’t notice and walk away. Let them stink up every corner they can crawl to. You’ve got better things to do with your time than be offended.

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It takes the fuss out of lying to you.

I’m apple-bobbing for reasons why I haven’t/don’t want to post.  Hating the overall look of this site sounded good for 30 minutes.  3 hours and a new theme later, visions of tossing journals and notebooks into the fire as I toasted Mr. Buffet and wondered about my new tattoo too, play like late-night reruns one step up from watching leftover take-out ferment.    21 is on my list of ages I’m happy to never be again.

The universe is trying to tell me something, I’m certain.  I may have to start answering the phone again.  Don’t bother coming over.  I still refuse to answer the door.  It’s not that I’m not eager to know; only cognizant of the possibility that this particular universal 411 could turn out to be SPAM.  And there’s nothing worse than getting excited over hearing a message from the Gods left on everyone’s machine.

Focus.  Failure to stay on topic, or remain interested in one subject for the time necessary to put my impressions down on paper, is possibly, probably, a cause.  Stress affects focus, although I can’t pinpoint the specific effect, be it a constant stream of ideas moving at a rate impossible to follow, or a decrease in appetite for such fanciful fare, life living life living the living.  I forget and remember, only to forget again - I think.  It’s a dream, or I am, and none of it means anything because I’m tired, don’t eat enough, and know one has something to do with the other but how did either find me in the first place?

 

The next planet was inhabited by a tippler. This was a very short visit, but it plunged the little prince into deep dejection.
“What are you doing there?” he said to the tippler, whom he found settled down in silence before a collection of empty bottles and also a collection of full bottles.
“I am drinking,” replied the tippler, with a lugubrious air.
“Why are you drinking?” demanded the little prince.
“So that I may forget,” replied the tippler.
“Forget what?” inquired the little prince, who already was sorry for him.
“Forget that I am ashamed,” the tippler confessed, hanging his head.
“Ashamed of what?” insisted the little prince, who wanted to help him.
“Ashamed of drinking!” The tipler brought his speech to an end, and shut himself up in an impregnable silence.

from Chapter 12 of The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupéry

Not-so-much the cupcake filler of joy I was hoping for…  In truth, I don’t have much to complain about.  I’m tired, that’s all.  And worried about family and friends.  Me too.

I can fight what I can see.  Fix things I can control.  Sleep.  I can do that.  I can tell you who I am.

My nose turns red when I’m cold. I sing when I’m in the shower, talk to and for the cats, hide Oatmeal cookies in my closet.  I’ve been waking up laughing, not certain what the dream is, only that I was writing something funny.  I’ve been known to skip.  I talk to myself because I’m alone a lot and forget to stop when I’m around people.  Sometimes it feels like people are eavesdropping - yes, absurd thought, I know.  Lately, I’ve been asking for help - or trying to learn how.  I’m only 32.  Is that some kind of record?  I don’t like salad dressing.  I own the world’s creepiest doll.

Few would find this sort of thing interesting.  And then only for reasons that have little to do with the list or me.

I suppose it’s the fewer I write for.  The ones “who don’t even care”.

I’d rather be the one who loves
than to be loved and never even know.
                                            ~Josh Ritter

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I’m moving again. I loathe the smell of packing tape glue and cardboard, cringe each time I hear the swish of an opening trash bag, see the wrist-whipped air balloon fill and collapse, a parachute aborted at birth. I think, “There’s still so much to go through, remember, and then throw away.” Gone, the romantic notion of finding my way by tossing a dart at the map, or the map at a dart. Maybe true from the beginning, co-conspirators or one and the same, the dart and map are now after me. I keep moving to stay one step ahead of everything I own that owns me; I’m getting slower by a second each time the ball drops on Time Square. Soon my lampshades and flowerpots will know what I know. And then it’s to heaven or hell, or wherever they send the undecided. I’m thinking Pittsburgh or New Jersey, maybe Indianapolis. Miami for those who sunburn easily.

A friend said of this site, “…in a year and a half, you’ve managed to leave out almost everything.” Tattletale.

On a pair of napkins tucked between the pages of a paperback book, Erving Goffman’s The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life, I wrote the following (year unknown, although best guess is 1999 - 2000):

” Today, as I was ordering a Happy Meal at McDonald’s, the man behind the counter asked, “Would you like a toy for a boy or girl?” Confused, I asked him to repeat himself. Again he said, “Would you like a toy for a boy or girl?” I answered “boy”, and when I sat down at a table to eat my mass-manufactured food, I found in my bag a little Matchbox car. A girl next to me, no more than 8 I’d say, had a miniature Barbie. I suppose she answered, “Girl.”

Polishing off my fries, I opened the first of 2 bottles of medications I take for depression. As I swallowed the first pill, I looked up and locked eyes with a boy who smiled at me, then looked down at his companion, an elderly black man confined to a wheelchair whose lap was filled with bags of food the two would soon eat. When my eyes returned to the boy, he was walking away, and painted in bright red on his black t-shirt was the message, “Don’t Trust Anyone.”

Sitting in McDonald’s, San Francisco, CA, USA…deciding my “chosen” gender, swallowing pills, being told by a child not to trust, listening to my favorite band on the overhead radio, I decided everything was common. Even defeat. There are no more corners for me to hide in. Not in McDonald’s, not in little pills, not in youth, not in music, not in gender, not in me.

I’m as common as the wind.”

After transcribing this I folded the napkins and returned them to where they were found. I doubt I’ll keep the book. It’ll end up on some thrift store shelf, and someone, someday will find my lunchtime ramblings, undated and unsigned, maybe even read them. As I sort through the past, 20 plus years of napkin poems, post-it epiphanies, crayon ramblings, journal entries written on any scrap of paper or porous dry surface I could find, I think about this future stranger, wonder what they’re doing now, what they’ll wear the day they go to the thrift store and find my napkin notes in an old paperback. Are they like me? Will they come home and write in their journal, “found written on a napkin in a book purchased in a thrift store” as I did more than once over the years?

I said to myself, as I sat in the living room surrounded by a dozen boxes of photographs and notebooks, “Hell, if my friends stood still long enough, I would’ve written on them.”

And then I thought about my friend, who encapsulated in a single sentence all I’ve been trying to say without saying it, and smiled. The only way to see what’s not there is to know what’s supposed to be there. My friend is covered in ink. As am I.

Ah, how sweet and naive, little ol’ me can be.

He said, “You look different.”

Well, I guess.